'Breaking the Silence' on 22-Day War [Pt. 1]

'Breaking the Silence' on 22-Day War



In the face of mounting International pressure, Israel continues to denounce allegations of human rights violations during its 22-Day War against Hamas in Gaza launched in December ‘08. A series of hard-hitting reports in the last month from independent International human rights organisations clearly reveal incidents of blatant disregard for the human rights of the Palestinian community in Gaza during 'Operation: Cast Lead'. 

These three reports, carried out byThe Red Cross, Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch respectively, are believed to be precursors for a UN Report due in September headed by South African jurist Richard Goldstone.

Whilst they were all dismissed by IDF and Israeli government authorities as mere pandering to Palestinian sentiment, the latest report comes from within their own establishment in the form of ‘Front Line’ troops who actually served during the 22-Day pummeling of the Gaza Strip enclave.

The Organisation in question is known as “Shovrim Shtika” (Breaking the Silence), who have recently released a booklet (7/15/09), entitled ‘Soldier’s Testimonies From Operation Cast Lead Gaza 2009’ which gives numerous substantiated testimonies by Israeli soldiers who actively participated in Operation; ‘Cast Iron’. “Breaking the Silence” founded in 2004, is an organisation comprising of Israeli veteran soldiers who served in Palestine since the Second Intifada (Sept. 2000). Their principle objective is to offer the Israeli public and global media an alternate ‘Front Line’ view of the true realities of Israel’s involvement in the Gaza Strip.

In producing this report, “Breaking the Silence” has strenuously attempted to portray the contents as more than just mere disgruntlement from within the military ranks and dispel IDF counter claims that their members represent nothing more than a few ‘bad apples’. The highly revealing testimonies contained within, vividly expose the discrepancies between the official IDF press line to the world on military restraint during their combat operations and what actually transpired on the ground in Gaza during ‘Operation Cast Lead’. In total, this 133-page report contains some 54 testimonies from 30 individual Israeli soldiers, who were actively on the ground during the ’22-Day War’. These testimonies lend considerable weight to previous global media and Independent Organisation’s allegations of ‘unlawful’ practices during the onslaught. In an overview of the report’s findings, “Breaking the Silence” spokesman Mikhael Mankin said;

"The testimonies prove that the immoral way the war was carried out was due to the systems in place and not the individual soldier.....................What was proven yesterday is that through the IDF the exception becomes the norm, and this requires a deep and reflective discussion. This is an urgent call to Israel's society and leadership to take a sober look at the foolishness of our policies."

The main areas highlighted for concern by ‘Soldier’s Testimonies From Operation Cast Lead Gaza 2009' include;

• The permissive use of by the IDF of so-called "accepted practices",
• The wanton destruction of hundreds of homes, private property and mosques,
• The indiscriminate firing of phosphorous gas into densely populated areas,
• The wide scale killing of innocent Palestinians
• An inherent ‘laissez-faire’ moral attitude, which existed within the upper tiers of the IDF’s command structure, that was allowed to manifest itself and precipitate down through all military ranks.

A central and recurrent theme throughout many of the testimonies is one of indiscriminate targeting of civilians as revealed by one Israeli soldier who claimed to be unable to see "the enemy before their eyes." This particular soldier went on to say;


"You feel like an infantile little kid with a magnifying glass looking at ants, burning them....................a 20-year-old kid should not have to do these kinds of things to other people."

Due to the complexity of this report and its far reaching implications regards substantiating the claims of the previous International Independent bodies, I will split this overview into two Parts.

Part 1 will Examine:

• Wide scale deployment of ’Neighbour Procedure’ 
• 'Fragmentation’ of the Gaza Strip 
• Israeli ‘Shoot First Ask Questions Later’ Policy?

And Part 2 will Examine:

•  Disproportionate Use of Force 
• Deployment of White Phosphorus Munitions

1.  Wide scale deployment of ’Neighbour Procedure’

‘Neighbour procedure’ is the name given to the military procedure of using civilians (Palestinians in this instance) as human shields by Israeli soldiers when entering a house where suspected militants were believed to be hiding. However, in one of these testimonials a Golani brigade soldier openly confesses that the Israeli occupation forces did use Palestinians as human shields during the 22-Day Conflict, even though the practice has been outlawed since 2005 by an Israeli High Court ruling. The Israeli soldier explains how these Palestinian civilians, referred to as ‘Johnnies’, were use as human shields by fellow IDF soldiers on the ground as they carried out door-to-door raids on Gazan properties. Many of these ‘Johnnies’ were Palestinian civilians who remained on the West Bank despite incessant leaflet drops, telephone warnings, TV campaigns to pressurize Gazan civilians to leave their homes prior to the onslaught. If the use of these civilian human shields proved that militants were present in a civilian property then soldiers automatically adopted the ‘pressure cooker’ approach to neutralise the posed threat.

These so called ‘pressure cooker’ methods to force suspected militants to surrender included the repeated use of helicopter anti-tank missiles and if they this tactic failed to persuade surrender, a D-9 dozer was brought in to demolish the building whilst the Palestinian fighters remained inside. Before each search on a particular building a ‘Johnnie’ was sent into demand the surrender of the individuals inside. In addition, on occasion they were also forced to re-enter the buildings during cessations of IDF fire, sometimes up to three times on an individual military assault.

As regards the blatant use of Palestinian civilians as human shields, one interviewee adds further credibility to accusations made by a Haaretz reporter, Amira Hassof, who had previously drawn attention to this unlawful practice by Israeli personnel during the campaign. The interviewee states;

Sometimes the force would enter while placing rifle barrels on a civilian’s shoulder, advancing into a house and using him as a human shield. Commanders said these were the instructions and we had to do it.

When asked about the Army’s official response to the prior accusations published in Haaretz about IDF abuses, the soldier replies:

It was ludicrous to…hear the response of the army spokesperson that the matter was investigated and there are no testimonies on the ground and that the Israeli army is a moral army. It raises doubts about the army spokesperson’s responses in general when you know for a fact that these things actually did take place..

However, in a bid to quell public opinion the brigade commander Colonel Avi Peled told Israeli Television that the "Johnnie" story and the use of "human shields" was "nonsense." He then went on to completely refute the soldiers’ testimony given to “Breaking the Silence” as "strictly hearsay" and claim that the soldier in question was not even involved in combat during the time of the alleged incident. However, the IDF did promise that it would "investigate any specific allegations presented by Breaking the Silence."

‘Fragmentation’ of the Gaza Strip

The report details how the principle IDF strategy of ‘Fragmentation’ was to be deployed by their soldiers on the ground during the offensive. ‘Fragmentation’ was basically Israel’s attempt to completely split the Gaza Strip in two, Northern and Southern sections. The military goal was to stop the movement of ammunitions, reinforcements, etc. between the refugee camps and Gaza city. Effectively a physical ground clearance operation as the Israeli military advanced.

Whole villages were completely obliterated from the Palestinian landscape as the Israeli war machine moved forward in an aim to completely neutralise any vain attempt of a Palestinian fight back. Such was the wholesale wanton destruction of whole swathes of Gazan civilian villages and towns that very few can argue that this was not a premeditated Israeli military operation from the very outset. If nothing else these testimonies only serve to reinforce the globally held sentiment that Israel was intent on re-occupation.

  Another interviewee gave a detailed description of how they were detailed to enter Palestinian property. In the report he describes the distinction between two types of military entry into a civilian property, ‘dry’ and ‘wet’. As regards the 22-Day War, the IDF soldier in question claims that to minimise the threat of booby trap devices all Gazan property searches involved the deployment of the ‘wet’ approach, i.e. the use of LPG/LAU/grenades, virtually anything at their disposal prior to entry. An extract from the report explains;

So how does 'wet' entry work?


Missiles, tank fire, machine gun fire into the house, grenades. Shoot as we enter a room. The idea was that when we enter a house, no one there could fire at us. Naturally by combat reasoning we would not take a house that the Hamas would expect us to take, for it would be highly likely for the Hamas to booby-trap it.

Israeli ‘Shoot First Ask Questions Later’ Policy?

This was one of the most fervent allegations made by human rights activists, medical personnel and civilians during Operation: ’Cast Lead’. On numerous occasions there were stories that innocent civilians waving white flags or sheets were indiscriminately shot by IDF soldiers.

During the 22-Day conflict, Jessica Montell of B’Tselem was one of a group of leading Israeli human rights campaigners who received several reports of such incidents. One in particular took place in a town Khuza’a on 13th January when a woman was shot as she left her house whilst waving a white flag. As she lay injured still waving the flag she was then shot in the head. As an ambulance tried to reach the scene it too was fired upon. As the day progressed more incidents transpired including 3 more fatalities when a group of 30 civilians also waving white flags were fired upon indiscriminately. As regards quantifying other incidents Montell claimed;

“This is not the first time that we get such information about the IDF shooting people who leave their houses with white flags, or waving white sheets."

Montell’s sentiment is again echoed by another soldier’s testimonial which appears to reflect an endemic ‘shoot first ask questions later’ approach running through all ranks of the IDF during the Gazan invasion. Within the report one soldier says;

We entered a yard and out of sheer fear the family was waiting in an exposed spot – a father, grandfather, young mother and babies. As we were coming in, the commander was firing a volley, and mistakenly killed an innocent.


What exactly happened?


We got to the house. It was surrounded by a yard, a fence. After the gate is broken in, he goes in with live fire. Several bullets, not a full burst…
The family was hiding from the bombings. They were under the stairs and that happened to be just in front of the door and when he went in and fired, he didn’t see who he was firing at. So he happened to kill an elderly guy…


The IDF soldier goes on to elaborate;



He died on the spot?


I don’t know. When I think back, it really seems insane that I don’t know. It hurts to admit it, but… not that I didn’t care. I did keep this in my mind and intended to write the battalion commander about it but I just didn’t have the time. Too bad I didn’t, come to think of it.


All the testimonials seemingly point to a recurring ‘laissez-faire’ moral attitude (coupled with a massive adrenalin rush) towards IDF soldier’s engagement with Palestinian fighters;


So the atmosphere there was laid back, no pressure, no reservations? There was nothing to hold the men back?



When your company commander and battalion commander tell you, "Go on, fire!" the soldiers will not hold back. They are waiting for this day, the fun of shooting and feeling all that power in your hands.

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Frank McCourt: Author of ‘Angela’s Ashes’ Dies

Frank McCourt: Author of ‘Angela’s Ashes’

Frank McCourt was an Irish-American raconteur and memoirist whose abilities gained a world-wide audience only after entering retirement. Prior to springing to international acclaim, Frank had been a public school teacher for 30 years and was fondly regarded as a jovial and well renowned New Yorker. The Pulitzer Prize-winning, "Angela's Ashes", catapulted him to prominence within the literary fraternity, and earned Frank McCourt a global audience.

Mr. McCourt, was being treated at a Manhattan hospice and was seriously ill with meningitis having been recently treated for melanoma (form of Skin Cancer) passed away yesterday (Sun. July 19th '09) at the age of 78.

The Irish-American writer’s path to international literary stardom began in 1996, when with the aid of a friend found a publisher in the form of Scribner for his then-uncompleted manuscript.  This manuscript contained the barbed memoirs of an ordinary man who had led quite an unprecedented life!  These memoirs were to become what we now know as “Angela’s Ashes”, which McCourt himself described as an “epic of woe”. Whilst only having an initial print run of just 25,000 copies, “Angela’s Ashes”, became an instant hit with readers and quickly became a global phenomenon.  Such is its success the novel is now translated into 30 languages and available in 25 countries.  The book was to later gain a whole new audience when it adapted for the big screen in 1999 and starred Emily Watson in the lead role as the mother and Robert Carlyle as the stereotypical Irish father.

Always the raconteur, when asked about accomplishing such celebrity status whilst in retirement, McCourt responded in his distinct Irish accent by reciting F. Scott Fitzgerald;

"F. Scott Fitzgerald said there are no second acts in American lives. I think I've proven him wrong,"

McCourt went on to elaborate;

"And all because I refused to settle for a one-act existence, the 30 years I taught English in various New York City high schools."

However, he was to take this new found fame in his stride and was a regular guest at parties, readings, conferences on the celebrity and literary scene.  He thoroughly relished the invitations to these social events and compared himself to a "dancing clown, available to everybody."

"Angela’s Ashes”, a coming of age novel disguised as a memoir, recounts McCourt’s own life story as a native New Yorker (Brooklyn) who emigrated with his family to live in a ghettoized part of Limerick at the age of four.  It is a graphic depiction, yet tinged with laughter and lyricism, of growing up in the then brutal Irish impoverishment through a young boy's eyes.  Frank and his seven siblings (three of whom succomb to typhoid fever) were constantly resorted to begging and/or stealing food to merely survive.  The loss of the three family members coupled with his father’s alcoholism drove his mother, Angela, into the throws of deep depression and an eventual emotional wreck.

"Angela’s Ashes" indelible opening line;

"Worse than the ordinary miserable childhood is the miserable Irish childhood, and worse yet is the miserable Irish Catholic childhood," prepares the reader's incredulity from the off!

Following the success of his initial literary offering, Frank went on to launch a sequel, “’Tis”, which narrates his life following his return to New York City. The final novel of the trilogy, “Teacher Man”, describes his teaching experiences commencing in 1958.

I will leave you with this compelling exert from “Angela’s Ashes" to reflect upon.

"People everywhere brag and whimper about the woes of their early years, but nothing can compare with the Irish version: the poverty, the shiftless loquacious father; the pious defeated mother moaning by the fire; pompous priests, bullying schoolmasters; the English and all the terrible things they did to us for 800 long years."

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Operation 'Cast Iron': Sheer Wanton Destruction!

Operation 'Cast Iron': Sheer Wanton Destruction!

'Much of the destruction was wanton and resulted from direct attacks on civilian objects,' 

Amnesty International’s extensive 117-page Report entitled ‘Israel/Gaza Operation ‘Cast Lead’:22 Days of Death and Destruction’ depicts a harrowing onslaught on a defenseless civilian population. Operation ‘Cast Lead’ commenced at 11.30am on 27 Dec. 2008, with an unrelenting and indiscriminate Israeli aerial bombardment (precision F-16 fighter jets) of the war torn Gaza Strip. Israel’s proposed legitimate aim was to end rocket attacks into Israel territory by armed groups affiliated with Hamas and other Palestinian factions.

Within 22 days of an incessant assault upon the region, some 1,400 Palestinians had lay dead, including some 300 children and hundreds of other unarmed civilians, including more than 115 women and some 85 men aged over 50. In addition to the human carnage, vast areas of Gaza were pummelled and left virtually inhabitable. had been razed to the ground, leaving many thousands homeless and the already dire economy in ruins.

According to Amnesty the indiscriminate attacks were a clear breach of international humanitarian law, most notably the prohibition on direct attacks on civilians and civilian objects (the principle of distinction), the prohibition on indiscriminate or disproportionate attacks, and the prohibition on collective punishment.

The Amnesty Report unequivocally calls for an immediate implementation international arms embargoes against Israel and Hamas, and called for 'criminal investigations in national courts' under universal jurisdiction wherever there is sufficient evidence of war crimes.

Rather than go into depth in the full implications of this report I would like to invite Rebels Yell readers to watch this short film footage in order to truly visualise the horrific aftermath of the 22-Day War. The actual report can be found here.
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Love Poet, Carpenter: Michael Longley Celebrated!

Love Poet, Carpenter: Michael Longley Celebrated!

'A keeper of the artistic estate, a custodian of griefs and wonders.' ~Seamus Heaney~

Love Poet, Carpenter: Michael Longley at Seventy (Enitharmon Press) is a festschrift from over 50 literary figures, celebrating the life and works of renowned contemporary Irish poet Michael Longley. Born in Belfast (1993), Longley after being educated at the Royal Belfast Academical Institution went on to read classics at Trinity College, Dublin where he was awarded the prestigious position of Writer Fellow at Trinity in 1993. He is one of the triumvirate of important Northern Irish poets (with Heaney and Mahon) who emerged in the 1960s to collectively bring a new 'renaissance' in Irish writing.

In 1970, he joined the Arts Council of Northern Ireland as Combined Arts Director where he devoted his time to promoting literature and the traditional arts before taking early retirement from the post in 1991. Among the numerous awards he received for his literary, the accolade of Queen's Gold Medal for Poetry was given to Michael Longley in 2001.

He is one of the founding fathers of Aosdána, established by The Arts Council in 1981, and is an affiliation of Irish artists engaged in literature, music and visual arts.

Some of Michael Longley’s celebrated works and achievements include;

• No Continuing City: Poems 1963-1968, (Pub.1969)
• Poems, 1963-1983, (Pub. 1985)
• The Echo Gate: Poems 1975-1979, (Pub. 1979)
• Gorse Fires (1991), Whitbread Poetry Award winner
• The Weather in Japan (2000), - awarded the Hawthornden Prize, T. S. Eliot Prize and the Belfast Arts Award for Literature.
• Editor of 20th Century Irish Poems, (2002)
• Collected Poems, (Pub. 2006)
• Appointed Professor of Poetry for Ireland 2007 - His inaugural lecture, A Jovial Hullabuloo, was published in pamphlet form in the same year.

On the eve of PIRA ceasefire (1994), The Irish Times, published the poignant and thought-provoking Homeric poem ‘Ceasefire’ which addresses the difficulty of overcoming the past, of trying to break a cycle of violence;

“Ceasefire”

I

Put in mind of his own father and moved to tears

Achilles took him by the hand and pushed the old king

Gently away, but Priam curled up at his feet and

Wept with him until their sadness filled the building.

II

Taking Hector's corpse into his own hands Achilles

Made sure it was washed and, for the old king's sake,

Laid out in uniform, ready for Priam to carry

Wrapped like a present home to Troy at daybreak.

III

When they had eaten together, it pleased them both

To stare at each other's beauty as lovers might,

Achilles built like a god, Priam good-looking still

And full of conversation, who earlier had sighed:

IV

'I get down on my knees and do what must be done

And kiss Achilles' hand, the killer of my son.'

Interesting in this collection of poems is the revelation by John Banville that Longley's contribution to the Northern Ireland peace process was the suggestion that the province's linen business should be put to the manufacture of "peace pants", with the union flag at the front, the tricolor at the back and the red hand of Ulster in the gusset. ~The Guardian~

This festschrift, Love Poet, Carpenter: Michael Longley at Seventy, is both a formal salute and warm-hearted tribute to one of Ireland’s distinguished poets career which spans over 40 years. Over this time period Longley produced poetic works spanning a multitude of genres including love poetry, war poetry, nature poetry, elegies, satires, verse epistles, and poems that reflect on art and the art of poetry.

Some among the 50 celebrated literary contributors include; Seamus Heaney, Caitriona O’Reilly, Frank Ormsby, Paul Muldoon and James Fenton et al. There is also a surprise entry from world renowned BBC Foreign correspondent, Fergal Keane. Keane has recently produced a BBC One NI programme entitled ‘Keane on Longley’, which was given its first airing on January 22nd of this year. The 40 minute revelatory documentary explores the inspirations behind many of Longley’s esteemed works including “Butchers” (an allusion to the ‘Shankill Butchers’). Keane expresses how this poem in particular gained a special personal significance whilst he was reporting on the Rwanda genocide in 1994.

We will leave the final words of this post to Michael Longley himself;

‘If I knew where poems came from, I’d go there.’

 
P.S. For the discerning book collector a Love Poet, Carpenter (Limited Edition), signed by 39 contributors (including Seamus Heaney; Paul Durcan and Gerald Dawe) is available from QUB Book Shop . (Limited to 195 copies)

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O Jeffrey (Donaldson), Where Art Thou’!

O Jeffrey, Where Art Thou?

Northern Ireland’s DUP MP, Jeffrey Donaldson, has decided to reimburse the Commons’ Fees Office to the tune of £660 that he claimed for expenses on his parliamentary visits to London during the period 2004-5. Mr. Donaldson is a self styled ‘Christian Politician’ and personifies a very smug and pious demeanour as he adorns his ‘Jesus Fish’ symbol on his crusade for the North's Ulster Unionism.

Who would have thought that ‘Norn Iron’ could produce our very own version of Jonathan Ross! Actually if Mr Ross did hail from here then it would be hilarious listening to him trying to say ‘Norn Iron’! The surprise scoop on the  ‘Man For All Genres’ Mr Donaldson was brought to public attention by the Daily Telegraph at the weekend as the West Minister MP fees scandal rumbles on.

The Daily Telegraph’s subtle opening paragraph introduces the Rt. Hon. Mr Donaldson as:

'Mr Donaldson, 46, a married father of two, used his Commons second home allowances to pay for films in his hotel room nearly every time he travelled from Northern Ireland to the capital on parliamentary business.'

According to submitted receipts, Jeffrey Donaldson accrued total costs of £555.54 pertaining to a total of 68 films during the time period 2004-2005;

'Receipts submitted by the MP before then show that the films he claimed for ranged in price from £7.50 at the Marriot, County Hall, to £14.95 at the Renaissance Hotel, Heathrow Airport. He was billed for 30 films during his stays at the Jolly Hotel St Ermine near Westminster, Mr Donaldson’s hotel of choice, at a cost of £7.95 a time. On four occasions he put the £9.95 cost of watching films at Hilton Hotels on his expenses.'

Mr Donaldson was not content with normal terrestrial T.V. offerings. Oh NO, NO, NO, instead he opted for the 'Blockbuster' category! (Rebels Yell readers behave!!) The newspaper article then elaborates in greater depth into the nature of those films currently available on pay-per-view.

At present, the films on offer which would fall into THIS ‘Blockbuster’ category at the Marriott are 'Sexy Scenes 2009, series 2, series 5 and series 7', 'Hotel For Dogs' (2009), 'Friday the 13th' (2009), 'Role Models' (2009) and 'Death Race' (2009).

In press releases issued last Friday night Mr Donaldson moved to disassociate himself from any innuendos and strenuously deny any claims that any porn flicks were on the agenda!;

“Such material was not viewed on the date alleged, or at all.”

Of course, if you are really stuck for an excuse you can always blame it on the RA!!

"Unfortunately, because of my security situation at the time, my family and I can't go to the cinema, so I took the opportunity to watch some of the films at the hotel."

Food for Thought (oh those DUP boys and gals do love their Grub!)

The Daily Telegraph also reported that the hotel costs were collectively classed as “Room Service 2”;

Most of the films appeared on the hotel bills as “Room Service 2”, meaning that their nature was not obvious to officials. On one occasion, the item “Room Service 2” was circled on the receipt by Mr Donaldson or staff working for him, and the word “food” written next to it, before the claim was submitted.

Mr Donaldson had just joined the DUP party, one year prior to these events. 2004-05 was a good year for the discerning film buff! Top box office hits included Shrek 2, National Treasure, Christmas with the Cranks, The Polar Express, The Incredibles etc. When asked on interview which films he remembers watching, a very hesitant Mr. Donaldson came up with 'Star Wars - The Original Trilogy [DVD] [1977]and 'The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe'!!

For those cynics amongst us, who do not belief in innocence until proven guilty, may have picked up Jeffrey being uncharacteristically indecisive during his recent UTV interview. Mr Donaldson picked two very safe options, 'Star Wars Trilogy' and the ‘The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe ’! Good safe wholesome non-innuendo choices but hopefully regarding the latter he doesn’t fall foul of any jumping of the wardrobe jokes. These can tend to leave a nasty taste in the mouth! (plzzz Rebels Yell readers no Batman jokes!!!!). I sincerely hope that no Rebels Yell readers are fans of the ‘Kung Fu’ legendary actor David Carradine, 72, who succumb to a bizarre fate in a Thai Hotel room. Thai police were investigating the twin theories that the death was either suicide or a sex game gone wrong. Carradine was found hanging in a wardrobe with a rope around his neck and other parts of his body. Oouuchhh!!

The Good and The Bad 2004 /2005 Film Releases

So here are a few of my choices of films that were big in various genres in 2004-05. The first few are actually porn flicks with an atypical cheesy play on words, of which there are two a penny! (so if you are reading this Jeffrey, closes your eyes NOW!)  The reason I have hand-picked a few of these, is that if any further revelations were to transpire, then it would be entirely plausible for Jeffrey to have a strong case for mistaken identity.  A bit like the recent remarks made by the Orange Order on their ownership of flags ERECTED in national areas!

HEALTH WARNING: These ones could cause blindness!


Private Gold 81: Porn Wars Episode 1

This porno rip off comes with the tagline ‘Cum join the Force!’ Has a similar ring to the DUP’s Ian Paisley cry to arms to the Ulster Protestants following both the Sunningdale Agreement in 1973 which led to the Ulster Workers' Strike (1974) which proved to be its death nail and Maggie NO, NO, NO, Thatcher signing the Anglo Irish Agreement. Hmmm extremely cheesy and very preDICKable!!


Dangerous Liason

Following on with 'The Star Wars' word play, Michael Lucas (NO not George Lucas donuts!) creation courted alot of controversy over the innuendos with its play on words on the cult movie classics.

Pirates Collector Edition (No links for these two Rebels Yell readers, do your own Google search!)


The ‘Safe Viewing’ Options

Alexander - Director's Cut [DVD] [2004]

This Oliver Stone epic was a massive box office hit in 2004 for movie goers and I am sure Jeffrey would have enjoyed this one. Especially since fellow Irish man, Collin Farrell, played the leading eastern European character. Stone had waited years to fulfill his dream of making a film about the legendary king of Macedonia. However, Oliver Stone found himself in a race to the finishing post with Baz Luhrmann who had been developing his own ‘Alexander The Great’ project.

I do think this one would be one of Jeffrey’s top picks on the 2004/05 movie buffs calendar. A political go getter like Mr. Donaldson could well affiliate himself with the infamous Macedonian King’s quest for power and control on his crusades. Upon reaching Babylon in the film, Farrell utters ‘Imagine the minds that conceived this", as he gazed over the opulence of the great city that awaited him. I wonder if Mr. Donaldson uttered similar words upon realising the potential ‘tax-payer’ goodies available in his hotel room.

Jeffrey could well be classed as the Ulster Unionist’s modern day version of Alexander as he champions the Ulster Unionist cause in the corridors of The House’s of Parliament and Stormont. He has a strenuous parliamentary schedule as he crusades tirelessly for the rights of Ulster Unionism against the tsunami of Irish Republicanism – MP, MLA, Councillor etc. So we can forgive Jeffrey for taking the odd time out from his hectic schedule, and enjoy some welcome relief with a good chick flick, a big bag of ‘melt in your mouth not in your hand’ M n M’s, popcorn and a non-alcoholic beverage.

Sin City - 2-Disc Edition [Blu-ray] [2005]

This one was my personal favourite of 2005. 'Sin City' was a screen adaption by Robert Rodriguez of Frank Miller's best-selling comic book series 'Sin City'. Rodriguez created a portmanteau film, incorporating murder, betrayal, decapitation, and cannibalism that is also beautifully crafted.

It is a pure cinematic masterpiece with breathless editing and high-contrast black and white images lit up by flashes of colour. The hyper-stylized look of 'Sin City' does a fine job at reproducing the deft visuals of the comic book onto the big screen.

You could be forgiven to likening some of the goings on to this mythical city to Belfast during the dark days of ‘The Troubles’.  In Sin City, the shady metropolis where Frank Miller bases his brutal tales, these film noir characters fall into their very distinct two-dimensional roles: creeps (if they're guys) and whores (if they're women.).  As we are all to aware sectarian violence was rife throughout both communities and Belfast was effectively divided into two waring tribes embroilled in a downward spiral of violence.  If you haven't seen it garb a copy because you won't be disappointed!!

So Rebels Yell readers which of the films currently on offer at the Marriott would get their guest's pulses racing?

New Movie Releases Available at the Marriott  (2009)


In general, the current crop of 2009 films available at the Marriott follow Hollywood film directors current obsession for remaking cult classics is very akin to the current Ulster unionist thinking, and especially for Jim Allister’s TUV strategy of re-bundling old fashioned protestant ethos and reverting back to the days of ruddy faces, bowler hats and sombre suited marching figures!


Sexy Scenes 2009, series 2, series 5 and series 7: (can’t find a link, ideas anyone!)

Plenty of choice here from the looks of it, but I am reliably informed when once you have seen one you have seen them all! However, given the level of ‘eye candy’ in the upper echelons of the DUP hierarchy, I think any mere mortal couldn’t resist the urge to have a wee luk! Au contraire, to even contemplate that the Rt. Hon. Mr. Donaldson would even contemplate such a momentary lapse in Calvin faith would be un-imaginable to his Ulster Unionist brethren. Would You Risk A Peak, Jeffrey?

Hotel For Dogs [DVD] [2009]

This one is the most family friendly of the four currently available on pay-per-view at the Marriott. No dogs die in this film, and there is no visible leg humping either! On the downside this film’s target audience is the elementary school range with a fair amount of toilet humour to boot. (15 Cert)

Friday The 13th [DVD] [2009]

Yet another remake of a 1970’s cult classic. This might be a hot pick given the correlation to that historical Good Friday in Northern Ireland’s history. Might bring back horrific memories to some Ulster Unionists of the day those Fenian bastard's got a say in our wee Ulster's affairs!! (18 Cert)


Role Models [DVD] [2008]

This might be a 50/50 one folks! 'Role Models' can be best described as a twisted version of the sub-genus "teacher inspiring his/her students", but with lessons about female boobs, instead of poetry, literature, dancing or whatever. The inspirational title looks promising on this one given the wrangling for supremacy within Ulster unionism following the departure of the ‘Big Man’! (15 Cert)

Death Race [DVD] [2008]

Ahh, now this one looks really promising due to its timely release! Especially as the current race for the Future Unionist Vote between Jim Allister (TUV) and the DUP heats up. There are two versions of this one available. You can choose the classic version from 1975 (re-released 2000) or the inspired version released in 2008 starring Jason Stratham. A very apt choice this one, which is an action packed, gladiatorial combat between two lunatics on wheels.  Incidentally not to give await the plot, prior to the race one of the drivers has to be replaced at the last moment!.  Hopefully, as we run into the North Antrim West Minister by-election next year, I won't referring back to draw comparisons to Ian Paisley Jnr. not being picked to run against Jim Allister.....  Fortunately this one carries a 15 Cert. whilst its predecessor carried an 18 Cert!

All in all, although the 'Daily Telegraph' did not provide any clear evidence of what Mr. Donaldson actually watched, it leaves the reader a bit disappointed! Ironically for now, this story is a bit like a porn flick, plenty of promise to start with but ends in a bit of an anti-climax!


Interested in more satire on this issue then head over to Splintered Sunrise Well Worth A Visit!

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