Wednesday 4 November 2009

Sectarian Sheep Painting Northern Ireland

BREAKING N-EWES:  
'Norn Iron' Sectarian Ewe Turn!


A remote field in Arboe, Co. Tyrone has been the scene of a SHEAR DYE-abolical sectarian attack on innocent sheep as they passively grazed in the Irish Republican heartland.  During the night 6 sheep were unsuspectingly spray painted with the Irish tricolour by presumably DYED IN THE WOOL Traditional Irish Republicans!  Undoubtedly, the RAM-ifications of such a SHEEPISH act will lead to a thorough investigation by the PSNI who will be careful to avoid having the WOOL pulled over their eyes on this 'THORNY' issue.!!

Whilst we may find the funny side, the farmer and the local DUP councillor were less than am-EWE-sed as they painted a grim picture!!!  Willie Frazer was eager to HOGG the limelight and re-iterate the plight of the rural border community for which he tirelessly campaigns.  He even found the time to produce a EWE Tube broadcast which included CLIPPINGS of the whole LAMB-entable episode!! 

Not to GLOSS over such an incident but due consideration must be given to the lack of scope for young rural Traditional Irish Republicans to develop their artistic talent.  This is in strong contrast to their urban comrades who have endless scope to perfect their wall mural painting skills.   Indeed, we must appreciate the high degree of stencil like accuracy required to skillfully paint the Irish tricolour on such jittery subjects!!  Very rarely do we witness such fine examples of the spray painting of moving targets which no doubt even the world renowned Banksy would be envious off!!

Furthermore, given the high media profile that this episode has already received, it would not be inconceivable that the proud owner of these NOW Traditional Irish Republican (Fenian) sheep should seriously consider entering them as an exhibit for the Turner Prize 2010.  The massive media attention would surely have the crowds FLOCKING to the Tate Britain in London next year!.  The potential £25,000 prize money would definitely off set any loss of earnings incurred by showing such fine specimens of Traditional Irish Republican (Fenian) sheep in potentially hostile 'Norn Iron' livestock markets!  The proud owner should be aiming to emulate Damien Hirst who was the victor in 1995 with a pickled sheep in formaldehyde.  Such an opportunity should not be missed especially since the markings will have to be retained on the sheep until next May well after the closing date for next year's competition!!

Tiocfaidh ár Baahhhh....

 

1 comments:

This littlef...ahem...sucker want some of that !
http://ping.fm/nsmUJ

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